Gator's Rant - Don't Tase me, bro...

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Gator's Rant - Don't Tase me, bro...
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"Don't tase me, bro!"

This now famous statement was made by a fellow Florida Gator named Andy Meyer a couple of months ago, just before he was tased by the cops for daring to ask John Kerry an embarrassing question at a forum in Gainesville, Fla. The phrase has caught on, and become part of the current slang.
YOU: Hey boss, the truck has a flat tire.
BOSS: Aw &%$# the &%$ !!!
YOU: Hey, don't tase me bro, I'm just tellin you!
New words come and go in this fast-paced world. Another recent new word is "dotcomrade", which refers to an online friend. If you hear someone referring to a female as a "BOBFOC", it's an acronym for Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch. This would describe a person who possesses a killer body but has a face that only a mother could love. Then there's "hatriotism", which describes someone who apparently thinks that loving America also entails hating everyone else in the world. Hatriots drink Haterade.
"Brokeback" describes something of questionable masculinity, like why would a man be drinking a brokeback drink like Smirnoff Ice? Also, when a drunk guy hugs another male and says "I love you, man!" it's called "Drunkback Mountain". That must be what el Presidente was up to when he was photographed Frenching the Supreme Mullah of Carjackistan recently!
If you have no money of your own, but manage to live well off someone elses, you're now referred to as a "nillionaire". If you make a fortune by opposing the establishment, you're a "rebellionaire". And finally, a "barstool banker" is one who pays for everyone's drinks on his credit card, then collects cash from them all, instead of going to an ATM.
We all know what it means to "go Postal". But did you know that "go Flintstones" refers to driving with the men in front, women in back? To "go to church" refers to chickening out in the face of danger, as in "if you're scared, go to church."
Another new word I like is "Death Star", which is used to refer to a building where it is difficult or impossible to get a signal on your cell phone.
I hope some of these new phrases will be useful to you. If you're unhappy with them, don't tase me, bro. That would be off the hook!