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April 5, 2008 - The Seabreeze News
The truth about the great bluebonnet caper
I
have been hiding evidence of what I thought was a crime for the past
20+ years. But now I am finally able to make a clean breast of it and
stop looking over my shoulder. The crime was the desecration of our
beloved State Flower, the Bluebonnet. The perpetrator was my daughter,
Janice – now married with four children of her own. Here is some
background to explain how this caper came to occur:First,
never, ever drive the back roads of Texas in the Spring to look at
bluebonnets. It's simply too dangerous. You see, for every laid-back
flower lover slowing down to gaze serenely at a field of these most
beautiful of wildflowers, there are ten frantic parents in their
monstrous SUVs careening around wildly looking for just the right field
of blue in which to plop down their baby and start taking pictures.And these parents are insane. I know because I was one of them.These
parents are juggling too many intangibles. First, there's the baby. A
bluebonnet photo expedition requires that your baby be both awake and
happy despite long hours in the car. Good luck with that. | Then there are the fields themselves.
Despite how serene they look, most bluebonnet fields are either
surrounded by big, ugly fences or next to an interstate highway. And
all of them are infested with mound after mound of fire-ants.
Lastly
there is fear. See, every Texan is told from an early age that it is
illegal to pick bluebonnets. They are the State Flower and they are
easily as revered as smoked brisket, high school football, and Old
Timer pocket knives. So when you place your baby in the middle of a
field of these sacred flowers and the first thing she does is grab,
mangle, and destroy as many as she can reach, you put your camera down
and start nervously looking around for the police.
But
Texans are a hardy lot and usually they finally get their picture. I
got mine, and it is publicly shown here for the first time.
Janice
systematically destroyed hundreds of bluebonnets that morning without
ever pausing once to look up at the camera. We have been on the run
from the long arm of the law ever since. Until I saw a TV report last
month that changed everything. The TV report said that, contrary to
what I had always been told, it’s not against the law to pick
bluebonnets in Texas.
Anywhere
someone tries to grab a handful, there will always be someone who yells
“No! Stop! It's illegal to pick bluebonnets! It's the state flower!"
Every Texan has heard it, and most will argue the point, some quite
vehemently. But is it true? Is it really illegal to pick bluebonnets?
"The
answer is no," reads a press release from the Texas Department of
Public Safety, the agency that encompasses the highway patrol and whose
job it would be to enforce such legislation. "There is no law against
picking our state flower." The Texas Department of Transportation
(TxDOT) will give you the same answer. Bill Powell with the Public
Information Office told Texas Twisted, "There is no legislation against
picking wildflowers. It is, in fact, not illegal to pick wildflowers."
And that includes bluebonnets. "It's an urban legend," he said.
Having
verified that my actions along I-10 on that April morning many years
ago were no crime against the State of Texas, I now revel in my
innocence. I think I’ll take the grandkids out for some photos as soon
as the wildflowers get going good. It’s good to be in Texas, where the
wildflowers are free for the picking… (GATOR) |
Black Dog targeting local motorists
For
the last two years, there has been a famous black dog lurking around
the streets of San Leon, wreaking havoc upon our community. This dog
has been responsible for at least 55 auto accidents in San Leon.
Victims
and witnesses say he will run out in front of vehicles, causing wrecks
almost every weekend in San Leon. After causing a crash, he vanishes
into the night, not to be seen again until his next incident. Someone
must be letting this black dog out on Fridays and Saturday nights
between the hours of midnight and 3 a.m., as these are the hours when
he is most often reported. Although there is usually not much traffic
at that time of the night, the black dog lies in wait patiently, hiding
in a ditch or behind a bush. When he sees a vehicle approaching, he
waits until the last minute, then boldly charges out into the path of
the driver – with seemingly little regard for his own safety.
According
to police reports on file with the Galveston County Sheriff, the black
dog has caused people to run into culverts, ditches, mailboxes,
telephone poles, fences, and other vehicles.
The
animal-loving drivers of San Leon will gladly plow into any stationary
object to keep from harming this black dog. I have decided to name the
San Leon black dog "Black Ninja". If you see "Black Ninja" run across
the road in front of you grab the wheel and pull it hard right and try
to hit something soft – or if you think about it try stomping on the
brakes. (STEVE) |  |
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