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| Gator's Rants Seabreeze News articles BarTalk columns Other Stories April 15, 2008 Strange Brew - by Patty Jo Money There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is UP.It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or toward the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends. We use something to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers, and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guy fixes UP an old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special. And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP. When it doesn’t rain for awhile, things dry UP. When somebody is sick, we say they are laid UP, then when they start getting better we say things are looking UP, then when they are UP and around we say they are healed UP. But if they take a turn for the worse, they might end UP dead. When something is honest, we say it’s on the UP and UP, but if it’s crooked, that means someone is UP to no good. We ask someone: what’s UP, and they tell us what went DOWN. If you tell someone to “put UP or shut UP”, they will probably clam UP, or get UP in your face. Don’t put UP with it. Put UP your dukes and beat them UP. Or maybe you’d rather kiss and make UP? Either way, it’s UP to you! We tell people to get DOWN, and they jump UP and start dancing. I tell my customers to drink UP, and they slam their drinks DOWN. Men always want to pick girls UP, or hook UP, or feel you UP. When you turn them DOWN they come UP with some cheesy comment that translates “UP yours”. And where do they ever come UP with those awful pick UP lines? We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! I could keep this UP all day... To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. We could go on, but I’ll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP; so: Time to drink UP and get fucked UP! Patty Jo |
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